Sunday, August 26, 2007

Top Ten Un-Trustable Missourians

10. Mark Twain: He didn't even go by his real name.
9. Quin Snyder: Possibly the most party of all major Division 1 basketball coaches. Think about it, that pussy coach from the mud-filled sinkhole Iowa State partied one night in Missouri and got fired. Quin made it for years.
8. Harry S. Truman: Only president from Missouri, also the only president to use a nuclear weapon, twice.
7. Brad Pitt: Truth be told, this guy is awesome, but I don't think he'd ever return my call.
Me: Hey man, let me know what you're doing later
Brad: Sure man, I'll call you
Then he'd never call
6. Sam Walton: Went to college at Missouri, went on to drive everyone out of business
5. Rush Limbaugh: Addicted to painkillers and racist
4. George Washington Carver: Didn't really invent peanut butter - biggest lie since Columbus
3. Jesse James: Is it any coincidence that Brad Pitt will be portraying him in a new movie?
2. Kenneth Lay: Ask former Enron employees how they feel.
1. Walt Disney: Don't even get me started on this son of a bitch

Other Notable Un-Trustable Missourians: Walter Cronkite,Yogi Berra, Red Foxx, Carl Peterson

Introduction

In my experience, you should never trust someone from Missouri