Missouri's Version of Cockfighting

The newest trend in Missouri? You guessed it, forcing your kids to fight each other. From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch:

Man forced sons to fight

"WENTZVILLE - A father forced his two sons to fight each other because one had pushed the other off his bicycle, police said."

Go here to read the full story.



The best part of the story is that he made them fight in front of his house with an audience and when cars drove by they'd call a "Game off." I think this exemplifies what its like to raise your kid in Missouri - a strong commitment to teaching important values like "Not Being a Pussy" and "Kicking Your Brother When He's Down" and "Not Crying Like A Faggy Little Girl" and, don't forget, "Don't Snitch."

That last one didn't work out so well.

Missouri leading the nation in racism on the roads

So, not only are we the state that had the KKK try to Adopt-A-Highway (we let them). But now, we've put up this sign. Nice.

I hate this state.

MWI: Mowing While Intoxicated

I love this state.

I was going to write some scathing critique of this guy, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He represents all that is good about Missouri. I have posted the story in its entirety, it's just too good to keep to myself:




Man Accused Of Drunken Driving On Riding Mower


IRON MOUNTAIN LAKE, Mo., Oct. 8, 2008

(AP) An eastern Missouri man was accused of drunken driving on a riding lawnmower. The suspect, whose name has not been released, was suspected of being involved in a disturbance on Sunday.

On Monday, police got a tip that the man was at a home. An officer went to the home saw the man driving down a street on a riding mower, pulling a trailer with a case of beer. Police say the man also had a flask of whiskey in his pocket.

The man's blood alcohol registered at .115, well above the state legal limit of 0.08.

The man was arrested for driving while intoxicated and careless and imprudent driving.


Kudos man. You're incredible. The best part is that this guy is hammered - like, already at .115 and still going strong.