Missourians aren't impressed with the Jersey Shore

If hell opened up and swallowed the Jersey Shore, would anybody care?

The answer is yes, it would be used as a cautionary tale. We'd all be grateful that those bastards finally got what they deserve. And, we'd still have the fantastic True Life episode to preserve their memory and remind future generations of the evils of excessive tanning, weight lifting, gold chains and white swoosh pants. Those that don't know their history are doomed to repeat it.

I can't believe that these people actually exist.

More Ridiculous News From the Show Me State

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,324181,00.html

If you don't get a chance to check it out, the headline of the story is "Chainsaw Attack Victims Remain in Critical Condition in Missouri." Think about that. A man attacked other people with a chainsaw. If you've ever wondered why you should never trust a Missourian this is case and point.


Some guys can't take the pressure and constant paranoia that comes with living in the Show Me State.

Missouri, leading the nation in not showing emotion

Obviously, Hillary Clinton is not a Missourian. I was watching an interview with her a couple of days ago and saw her tear up about the country and how she could make a difference. First of all, this was completely set up. Secondly, if it was real, do we really want the president of this country to be crying in public? Citizens of the show me state do not like to show their emotions. Nor should we, its a sign of weakness. We are stalwart and valiant in our everyday lives.

I remember falling off the monkey bars when I was a kid. It was about a 15 foot fall so I immediately began to cry. I will never forget the look on my father's face. Not only was he embarrassed, I think he lost a little respect for me. Ever since that day, I've only cried twice. And both times happened in one viewing of the movie Rudy.

In conclusion, I have some advice for Mrs. Clinton. Come the Missouri Primaries, you better use a different tactic other than crying to persuade votes. It will NOT work...in fact it will hurt you.