Thursday, September 6, 2007

Missouri, 1821

There have been some questions about the purpose of ths blog. Mainly, "Why should I never trust a Missourian?"
Glad you dispshits asked.

- The land for this state was part of the Louisiana Purchase, during which, the United States fleeced the French. Pretty cheap, no?

- Our motto pretty much says it all: The "Show-Me State." What a cynical state motto. What it's saying is that we don't believe you until you show us. Of course, even if you show us, we probably don't care.

- During the Civil War, we committed to fighting with the North. We then proceeded to form a militia that was used to attack union soldiers. Real classy, Missouri.

- The University of Missouri, the state's largest institution for higher learning, was teacher to such boy scouts as Kenneth Lay of Enron, Sam Walton of Wal-Mart, Gary Barnett (the out-of-work, embattled University of Colorado football coach) and Doctor Death of Iraq. We teach them right.

- As was recently brought to our attention, we posess more caves than any other state in the continental U.S. Perfect for snitches to hide out.

Chew on that for awhile.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

If there is an an after life, a Missourian will enter, look around and say "no big deal. It's not that cool."